Top 14 Signs of an Abusive Man

Controlling Spouses, Abusive Husbands
and the Abusive Personality



About the top 14 Signs of an Abusive Man.During a 10 year study on the profile of a batterer I discovered that abusers do not change, their behaviors follow a pattern and they can be categorized into 14 simple signs of Abusive Men.

You are here because you are wondering if the behaviors you see in a man you are with are actual signs of an abusive man.

Discovering you are with an abuser, controlling spouse or abusive husbands is not easy; most women do not realize they are in an abusive relationship even when physical abuse is happening as well.

Abusers have the ability to convince women that either the abuse that happened didn’t happen, she did it to herself, that it didn’t happen the way she claims or she is verbally attacked until she believes what the abuser is telling her.

This is also known as crazy making. Abusive husbands and controlling spouses are master manipulators who can convince, con and mislead someone into believing what they want them to believe.

Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power – Please look below at the top 14 Signs of an Abusive Man:

  • Dominance – Abusers are domineering they possess control over you and make you submissive to them.
  • Humiliation – An abuser will belittle, humiliate, shame you into making you feel so low that you have little or no self-esteem causing you to be powerless over every situation.
  • Isolation – An abuser will cut you off from friends and family. He will stop you from working, using a phone or internet, he will block you from any outside sources of help. He will make sure you are completely isolated from the world, and when that happens you become under his absolute control.
  • Threats – Abusers use threats to keep you from leaving or seeking help. He may threaten to hurt the children, take the children from you, kill you or the kids, commit suicide or even threaten to call social services on you. Please continue reading the signs of an abusive man.
  • Intimidation – Abusers use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Some of the tactics are frightening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. His message to you is if you don’t obey consequences will happen.
  • Denial and blame – Abusers never take responsibility for their actions. They blame you, their childhood, bad day, they will use any excuse to dissolve them from their actions. They will deny the abuse happened, turn and blame you for it or make you responsible for them becoming an abuser. They will never take responsibility – never. Please continue reading the signs of an abusive man.
  • Jealousy and Possessiveness – The abuser is obsessively jealous of you, your time, what you do, where you go. His goal is to have total control over what you do; as such he will isolate you and treat you like you are an object rather than a person. He will control you through accusations, accusing you of being with another man or flirting.
  • Control – an abuser will take control over every area of your life. No matter where you go or what you do you will not be able to do it without his approval, and when he sees you trying to gain some control over your own life, he will do whatever it takes to take back that he is losing you by controlling you, either through abuse or violence. Please continue reading the signs of an abusive man.
  • Superiority – Abusers usually have low self-esteem and have lack of confidence, their only way to overcome it is by verbally and physically abusing someone. As such they choose victims who have self-esteem issues so that they can overpower them, and control them. Abusers will make sure he is always right and is in charge. If anyone attempts to have superiority over them they will destroy a victim’s self-esteem in order to remain in charge.
  • Manipulates – Abusers are master manipulators, they constantly convince you that you are the crazy or stupid one. Abusers have the ability to deceive even psychologist and pastors.
  • Mood Swings – Abusers have swift mood swings they go from loving and kind to beating a woman, they are abusive then apologize, they make promises not to do it again but shortly later they will abuse the victim without remorse.
  • Unwilling to seek help – An abuser never feels they have done anything wrong. They feel they are the victim and you are the one who needs help. Not only that but they will also go around telling everyone that you are the abuser and he is the victims.
  • Disrespects women – Abusers grew up not respecting women so you can see it by the way he treats his mother and other women. Abusers think women are worthless and stupid and have no purpose on earth and treat them as such.
  • History of Abuse – Abusers have a history of abuse in their childhood and other marriages. If you know the abuser was abused as a child or was an abuser in another marriage, he will abuse you. Only the abuse will escalate to severe and in extreme cases murder.

If any of these signs of abusive men sound familiar in your current situation you need to re-think your situation. Domestic abuse and domestic violence only escalates over time. As years pass the violence becomes much worse until eventually he has only one option – that is to kill you or your children.

Abuse is serious and learning the signs of abusive men before you marry is important. If you are already in an abusive marriage and you are being physically abused, seek help immediately. Your life and your children’s life depend on it.

Please see more articles on Signs of Abusive men, Abusive Husbands, Controlling Spouses, and the Abusive Personality:

About Abusive Men

The Abusive Personality

Abusive Words and How They Hurt Us

About Abusive Fathers

Controlling Spouses

Marital Abuse

Mentally Abusive Relationships

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