Seeing Emotional Abuse Signs

in Family or Friends? We Can Help!

Are you seeing emotional abuse signs in a friend or family? Are you concerned for them, but not sure if you can help? Helping victims of abuse is not as difficult as you may think.

Although you may have concerns of a batterers' retaliation, not knowing how to help, and having your own problems.

Taking the time to get them the help they need may just be the encouragement they need to leave. Although those fears and concerns are legit, not helping victims puts their lives and their children's life at risk.

Give a Woman with Emotional Abuse Signs a Chance

If you are willing to help a victim, the first thing a victim needs is your unconditional love. She needs to know that you are willing to help her and that you will be there for her for the long haul.

Helping victims of abuse takes patience and unconditional love. Let her know from the beginning what you are and are not capable doing for her. These boundaries will help her not feel rejected when you are unable to help her with certain issues that arise. Only offer your help if you will not leave her, get tired of her, or abandon her when a crisis hits.

Please don't give her advice, remind her of how vile her situation is, tell her about the damage being done to the children, or make her feel bad because she is staying. In the beginning, a victim is in need of someone who will just listen to her. Just listen to her without being judgmental or critical. This is a process for a victim.

Using the ideas below will help the victim develop the confidence and the boldness to eventually leave her abuser.

***If know a woman with emotional abuse signs and you are unable to help at this time, that's okay, give her the www.domestic-violence-help.org website and let her seek help on her own. We have plenty of resources for her.

It is estimated that it takes between seven to fourteen attempts to escape from the batterer before the victim leaves for the last time. For the family member, co-worker, or friend this may be very draining.

But I want to encourage you that your unconditional love each time she escapes and then returns will eventually give her the strength and boldness to finally leave for the last time.

If and when she returns to her batterer, continue to love her. Don't give up on her. She needs you more this time than before. Before long, your commitment and unconditional love will help her leave for good.

Ideas for Helping Victims of Abuse While Living with the Batterer

Ask her for what she needs from you.
Be honest with what you can provide, set boundaries.
Pray for her and her children.
Let her know you are praying for her and her children.
Keep her confidence.
Be a compassionate ear; just listen when she needs to talk.
Be sincere and genuine.
Continually offer hope. Let her see she has a good future.
Reassure her it is not her fault. Validate the seriousness of her situation.
Respect her decisions to stay, even if you feel she is wrong.
Encourage her to make decisions for herself.
Let her know there is a lot of help when she needs it.
Help her find Domestic Violence Help Organizations.
Help her discover her gifts, talents, strengths and abilities.

Helpful Ideas for Helping Victims of Abuse When They are Ready to Leave the Batterer

Ask her what she needs from you and how you can help.
Let her be in control of what she needs and what she wants.
Babysit her children.
Organize a team to help get her out.
Provide a safe place to research the internet.
Help her contact lawyers, doctors, legal assistants, police, District Attorneys, etc.
Ask her if she would like you to do some research for her.
Help her with writing up legal documents.
Help her to write out the abuse that was done to her and her children.
Sit with her and review options together.
Provide her with domestic violence resource help.
Help her with planning.
Help pack for escape.
Provide information to help her make her own informed choices.

Helping Victims When They Have Returned to the Batterer

Ask her for what she needs and what you can do for her.
Be honest with what you can provide. Let her know your boundaries.
Pray for her and her children.
Keep her confidence.
Listen and reassure her everything is going to be okay.
Ask her where she needs help.
Offer hope.
Let her know you are sad she returned but you are still willing to help.
Let her know you are not going to give up on her.
Respect her decisions to stay, even if you feel she is wrong.
Let her know there are websites that help on how to live with the batterer.
Let her know you haven't stopped loving her because she went back to her abuser.

***If you know a woman with emotional abuse signs and you are unable to help at this time, that's okay, give her the www.domestic-violence-help.org website and let her seek help on her own. We have plenty of resources for her.

Need some more help with emotional abuse signs? Click on links below.

Click Here for Domestic Abuse Hotline.

Click Here for Domestic Violence Safety Planning.

Click Here for More Help for Emotional Abuse Signs.

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