Batterers:

Characteristics that Help
Identify a Potential Abuser





Batterers have different public and private persona's. These characteristics are very confusing to victims and others. On one hand abusers are kind, gentle, and generous; on the other hand, they can become extremely violent within seconds.



Perpetrators are very proficient at disguising their abusive behaviors in order to appear socially proper. Some characteristics can be interpreted as protective, caring, and loving though it is actually a form of control.

If you feel you have identified a potential abuser, do NOT confront the batterer alone. Please use and study all of our resources before making any decisions. We are here to help. Also please see if our Abusive Men: Batterer Intervention Program can be of help to you.


  1. Excessively or pathologically jealous.
  2. Verbally Abuse.
  3. Cruelty to animals or children.
  4. Blames others for problems.
  5. Blames others for actions.
  6. Blames circumstances for his problems.
  7. Blames alcohol, drugs for anger.
  8. Blames others for bad temper or feelings.
  9. Low self-esteem.
  10. Unrealistic expectations or demands.
  11. Isolates partner from family, friends, work, and church.
  12. Controlling behavior.
  13. Prone to hypersensitivity.
  14. Dual personalities: “Jekyll and Hyde personalities.”
  15. Belittles partner.
  16. Uncontrolled or quick-tempered personality: reacts in rage unexpectedly.
  17. Personality disorder.
  18. Manipulative.
  19. Has addictive behaviors: alcohol, gambling, drugs, sex, porn, overeating.
  20. Minimizes or denies abuse.
  21. Rationalizes violence and abuse.
  22. Criminal record.
  23. Promises he will change.
  24. Asks for another chance.
  25. Uses guilt about religion, love, or family to keep partner from leaving.
  26. Stubborn, obstinate, rude, inflexible, unrelenting.
  27. Believes in rigid gender roles.
  28. Regards violent behavior as acceptable.
  29. Threatens to abuse children.
  30. Abuses children.
  31. Abuses pets.
  32. Seems loving, charming, kind, and helpful to outsiders.
  33. Closed minded.
  34. Continual threats of violence.
  35. Breaks or strikes objects.
  36. Tight control over finances.
  37. Quick involvement.
  38. Uses force during sex.
  39. Extreme dependency on relationship.
  40. Sees violence as a tension releaser.
  41. Feels he has God given right to discipline if partner is not obedient.
  42. Grown up in abusive home.
  43. Very possessive towards her and children.
  44. Threatens to kill self or partner.
  45. Denies abuse ever happened.
  46. Says he can’t change without help and support from partner.
  47. Claims partner is the one who needs therapy.





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Hi, I'm Kelly.

I have created this website to share tips, ideas, and planning tools for all your domestic abuse needs. Each page gives you the courage to make sound choices for your future.




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