Help for Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence

How to Help Victims of Abuse

Thank you for taking the time to read, "Help for Domestic Abuse." Many fear they can't help a victim. They fear that they may get in the cross fire of the batterer. And yes, those fears are legit; however, not helping victims puts their lives and their children's life at risk. That is why we are here to help you!



We are here to help you, guide you, and show you how to help without putting yourself as risk.

The first thing a victim needs is your unconditional love. She needs to know that you are willing to help her, and that you will be there for her for the long haul.

Only offer your help if you can promise that you will not leave her, get tired of her, or abandon her when a crisis hits. In the beginning, a victim is in need of someone who will just listen to her.

Help for domestic abuse victims is easier than you think. With a few little do's and don'ts you will be well on your way to helping them. you don't need to give advice, remind her of how vile her situation is, tell her about the damage being done to the children, or make her feel bad because she is staying. Just listen to her without being judgmental or critical. This is a process for a victim.

Use the “Ideas for helping” listed below when you talk to her. This will help her develop the confidence and the boldness to make her escape when she’s ready.

It is estimated that it takes between seven to fourteen attempts to escape from the batterer before the victim leaves him for the last time. For the Pastor, life coach, family member, co-worker, or friend this may be very draining.

But I want to encourage you that your unconditional love each time she escapes and then returns will eventually give her the strength and clarity to finally leave for the last time.

If and when she returns to her batterer, remain steadfast in your love for her and the children. Don’t give up on her. She needs you more at this return to her abuser than her last return to him. Before long she will leave him for good.

Help for Domestic Abuse While
She is Living with the Batterer

• Ask her for what she needs
• Be honest with what you can provide.
• Pray for her and her children.
• Keep her confidence.
• Be a compassionate ear.
• Be sincere and genuine.
• Ask her where she needs help.
• Offer hope.
• Reassure her it is not her fault.
• Believe what she tells you and give her validation.
• Validate her words of the seriousness of her situation.
• Respect her decisions to stay, even if you feel she is wrong.
• Encourage her to make decisions for herself.
• Let her know there are many options.
• Give the web address to www.domestic-violence-help.org
• Let her know you are with her in every decision.
• Help her discover her gifts, talents, strengths and abilities.

Help for Domestic Abuse When
She is Ready to Leave the Batterer

• Ask her what she needs.
• Let her be in control of what she needs and what she wants.
• Baby sit her children.
• Do some research for her if she wants you to.
• Help her do paper work or planning to escape checklists.
• Sit with her and review options together.
• Provide her with resources on this website for planning.
• Give the web address to www.domestic-violence-help.org.
• Give her the other resources on this website.
• Help her with the tools and planning.
• Help pack for escape.
• Provide information to help her make her own informed choices.

Help for Domestic Abuse When
She Has Returned to the Batterer

• Ask her for what she needs
• Be honest with what you can provide.
• Pray for her and her children.
• Keep her confidence.
• Be a compassionate ear.
• Be sincere and genuine.
• Ask her where she needs help.
• Offer hope.
• Reassure her it is not her fault.
• Believe what she tells you and give her validation.
• Validate her words of the seriousness of her situation.
• Respect her decisions to stay, even if you feel she is wrong.
• Encourage her to make decisions for herself.
• Let her know there are many options.
• Give the web address to www.domestic-violence-help.org
• Let her know you are with her in every decision.
• Help her discover her gifts, talents, strengths and abilities.

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