I left and had to come back.

Please help me. He threw me and our daughter out about 2 months ago in an abusive and drunken rage. I relied on friends for a place to stay for a while. I called every place I could for help but the shelter was full even though the people I spoke to encouraged me not to go back. They gave me the number for legal aid and I left messages but they never called me back.
I didn't have the money to move. He called often and begged for us to come back. He swore he would stop drinking and would change. (Typical, I know.) The money I made I was trying to save but I was solely paying for my child's needs, my bills, and paying the people I stayed with and there was little left.
For years he has beaten me and berated me. I took pictures of myself at times and even made doctor's appointments so there would be something on record. I even managed to encourage him to go to therapy for a while but he quit blaming the doctor. I found a second and then a third doctor and again, he said the doctors were wrong.
When our child was little, she didn't see these things. The night he came home drunk and threw us out she was old enough to know.
We came back after he promised her that he would never "argue" with me again. Tonight he came home drunk and started verbally abusing her just as she and I were sitting down to dinner.
I know that I need to leave. I want to leave. I just do not have the money to leave. The main reason I came back was to get my finances in order, pack things up a little at a time, and leave one day while he was at work and unsuspecting. I told him we came back to "work things out" and have been playing that role.
The suggestions I get online tell me to stay somewhere else, get a po box and call shelters. The shelters are full, I can't pay for a po box when I need to save for a place for us to stay and the only people I know who will take us in want me to help with the bills while we're there.
My daughter is at a last minute sleepover I planned after we left tonight and after staying away a few hours I came back to where he is and luckily he was asleep. I have to work in the morning and had no clothing, makeup, etc and nowhere else to stay. I am going to sleep in our child's room tonight with my cell phone under the pillow and my purse with my keys and a change of clothes at arm's reach.
I have nowhere to go for free and no money to get our own place right now. The best plan I could come up with was to move back in with him for a while and quietly work towards departure in a few months. He obviously feels like he is back in control which I know after his behavior tonight.
Today I listed a bunch of things on ebay as part of my plan to earn extra money I could hide and put towards my baby's new life. I work every single day towards the future that she deserves, but I know I am nearly out of time.
Please tell me, please, I beg you, how I can get out of this now without the money for a new place and nobody to stay with while I save?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Domestic Violence Support Group.

Copyright (c) 2010 The Trinity Assignments, All Rights Reserved.