What is forgiveness after an abusive relationship?

by Rebecca
(Marietta, Georgia, USA)

2 months ago I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship that was just bad. I managed to go a month or so without him contacting me, but he has tried to pursue me and call me a bad Christian for not letting him back in my life. I have tried to find verses to support my side and I have found Cor. 15:33; Proverbs 13:20; and Proverbs 4:14-17. Those have helped.

Pray that I find true clarity as to what I need to do to forgive him and what it means. I also pray that he gain clarity, even though he doesn't see any of his actions as being wrong. I pray for his relationship with Christ and his well-being. But I pray for my firmness in Christ.

Comments for What is forgiveness after an abusive relationship?

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Forgiveness and Abuse
by: Kelly Ann Evers

Dear Rebecca,
You've made a very wise decision leaving him. Forgiveness and Abuse are two entirely different things. An abuser will tell you that unforgiveness is not biblical. But what he is talking about is completely different that what you've done by leaving. Leaving an abuser, and taking care of yourself (and your family/future family) is wise. To forgive does not mean to forget the hurt and pain they have caused you and return back to being abused. Forgiveness is turning the hurt and pain over to God and having Him heal you from the wounds they have caused you, but it is not returning back to be abused again. You can forgive someone but be wise about not being around them to protect yourself.
By him saying to you that you are not a Christian because you are not going back to him, is a lie from the devil. Jesus does not want anyone to hurt you EVER! You are far more valuable than that. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Also by him saying to you that you are not a Christian tells me that he is not remorseful about hurting you, he just wants to continue to control you.
Rebecca, I am very proud of you for leaving. What that says to me is that you know you deserve better and you expect better. By you searching Scriptures for the truth shows me that you are a Christian and because you are looking for truth in God's word, God will give it to you! That is His personal promise!
Throughout this website is a ton of information about abuse and God's word. In my new book "Hurt No More! A Journey of Healing from Abuse" talks a lot about forgiveness and scriptures supporting your decisions.
Soon I will have more information on the website that is directly related to Forgiveness and Abuse but it may be a couple of months before that is up (I have a ton of other articles I'm working on currently),they will help you understand leaving an abuser and how the Word of God justifies it.

Please continue to search the word of God and throughout this website, in no time you will know the truth and the truth will set you free!
Love and blessings,

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