Abusive Parents and Verbal Abuse
Children Abused in Public
About helping abusive parents with verbal abuse:
If you are witnessing children abused in public please consider helping the parent first. Always start with giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
They may be Mother Theresa all year, but that particular day they may have been having a bad day. We have all had them.
Of course we all don’t express it in public but we all have raised our voices at our kids and we have all lost patients with them – it’s just easier to look at someone else as bad and ourselves being justified.
Let’s be a part of the solution and not adding to the problem – unless a child is in danger.
For me, when I see a mother yelling at a child everything in me wants to have the child taken away, but I know that won’t solve the problem.
Sometimes all abusive parents need is to see what they are doing wrong and they will change their behavior.
How can you help abusive parents? Try redirecting the parents away from the child by bringing awareness to what they are doing without judgment or condemnation. Use these questions as some guides.
- “Sometimes kids try our patients, huh?”
- “My child used to act like that when he needed a nap. Does he need a nap?”
- “My mother used to say ‘this too shall pass.’ I always wondered if she had a kid like mine!”
- “Sometimes counting to ten helped me, sometimes it didn’t! Have you tried that?”
- “Children can wear you out, can’t they? Is there anything I can do to help?”
- Strike up a conversation with the adult. See if you can re-direct his/her attention away from the child.
- Praise the child and parent at the first opportunity. “I see this is hard for you, but I see you are trying to control your temper.”
- If the child is in danger, offer assistance. “Say, is there something I can do to help you? It looks like this is frustrating you?”
- “Looks like your little boy is giving you a hard time.” Try changing the conversation. Try having them look at something positive.
Please understand I am not condoning abuse.
I am the first one to go rescue a child, but we never know what someone’s circumstance are and what is causing them to yell at their child.
Likewise, I know that verbal abuse does more long-term damage than all other abuse combined.
That said, no abuse is acceptable, period; but helping abusive parents is always best. The above abuse is referring to verbal abuse. This doesn’t include physical abuse. If you are seeing physical abuse, don’t wait call 911 and get the child help immediately.
For more Articles Domestic Abuse Help Please see:
Effects of Child Abuse
Mentally Abusive Relationships
Relationship Red Flags
Signs of an Abusive Man
Return to Domestic Violence Help from Abusive Parents