Emotionally Abusive Relationships
The Vile Words Abusive Men say to Women
About: Abusive Words and The Vile Words Abusive Men say to Women.
“I felt like a target being hit with poisonous darts flying at me. Every time he
spoke to me it made me feel even more worthless than I already was,” Helena said with tears coming down her face.
“Are you worthless?”
She looked at me bewildered. I asked her again. “Are you worthless? Do you feel like you have no worth or value? Do you feel like you are just taking space on this earth for no reason?”
It seems like a heartless question, but Helena is a children’s director and founder of a children at risk foundation. She has been changing children’s lives for the last 20 years.
Some of these children are now doctors and lawyers, some are politicians and on city council, some are preachers and some are proud mothers and fathers of children who are not at risk of being a statistic of gang crimes.
She stumbled on her words, because she knew that if it wasn’t for her, the thousands of children that she has helped would be in jail or dead.
Women in emotionally abusive relationships are convinced that no matter how much they have done to make the world a better place, the abusive men has convinced them that they are worthless through their abusive words.
I remember as a child we used to say, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That is not true. Not even a little. Words do hurt and if you have a spouse or significant other who is speaking with angry, abusive words – it’s not okay. They do hurt. You deserve better.
Abusive words are anything that belittles, degrades, intimidates or makes you feel worthless. Whether someone “means” it or says it in jest, it is not okay.
You deserve better! It’s not easy to speak up and say, “What you are saying to me hurts; don’t talk to me that way anymore.” It is necessary to do so. I’m going to say it again: you deserve better.
Those who talk in a tone is even considered abusive talk, because it’s intended to degrade and belittle. If someone is being vicious, malicious, spiteful or nasty with words that make you feel down about yourself they are abusing you – and it’s not okay, you deserve to be treated with love and respect.
You deserve to be spoken with kindness and words that build you up and encourage you. If you’re not, it’s time to speak up and let them know it’s not okay to speak to you like that anymore or they need to find someone else to abuse.
Do you think you can do that? It’s not easy; it took me quite a while to speak up for myself. But, I asked a friend if I could practice with her. She played the part of the person with the abusive words and I played me.
She would say something to me and I would tell her not to speak to me that way and the words hurt. We practiced this method a few times until I felt comfortable.
In a short amount of time, a month or so, I had the courage to speak up to the real person who was hurting me and told her to stop speaking to me that way. Eventually that person stopped talking to me like that. Many times it works out like that and we keep that friendship, but other times relationships have to end because they continue abusing us, and that is not okay.
If you are in an abusive relationship it may be a bit harder to get them to stop but over time and the constant reminder that it’s not okay does stop them. Try it; you’ll be glad you did.
For more about articles on abusive words and emotionally abusive relationships please go to:
Mentally Abusive Relationships
Emotionally Abusive Relationships
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
Signs of an Abusive Man
More on The Toxic Relationship
The Abused Wife
How Abused Wives Leave Abuse
Return to Domestic Violence Help from Abusive Words
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